some days i just don't feel beautiful.

my hair doesn't turn out right
new red bumps keep appearing
the jeans are a little snugger
and best compliment of the day is "nice....sweatshirt."


i realize that all of those things are really superficial, but how can they not cross my mind when i'm constantly surrounded by it?
determination is key. confidence is key.

but sometimes, all i want is for someone to delight in me.
faith is key. perseverance is key.

the king is enthralled by your beauty
honor him
for he is your lord
psalm 45:11


i let myself get blinded by shallow desires and thinking i don't fit perfectly in this perfect little description of "beautiful" that i've come up with. that being said, i don't think i honored jesus with my thoughts today.  they were all about my faults. my thoughts should be full of praise that despite my mess, the King is enthralled with me.  This perfect, holy One takes delight in little spotted me.  He didn't have to do that. i should crave that kind of affection.

You are holy
You are mighty
You are worthy
You are beauty.

this is latifa. 

some days i forget about my experiences or my passions or the things i want to accomplish or the burdens the Lord has put on my heart.  but not days like today.  not when i start the day with swahili and sing an african song in choir and look at my computer desktop and see her face.  not days when i reach into my bag and see the letter akila wrote to me, amy and "aliana."

on days like today, all i want to do is hold latifa and sing mungu ni mwema.