water in the desert: condensed.

I was recently at the Market. Matt was sitting in the shade thinking about deep and awesome things. I was playing in the water and deciding whether to stress about life and hardships and sadness or how on earth to "give it to God." And then it was like the Lord said to me, "hi little heavy hearted friend. i see your struggle, i've heard your cry. tell me: are you the one who provides all their needs according to your glorious riches? Nope, not you, that's me. Let me do my job. I will provide what they need, i will provide what you need. Give your worries to me. I can handle all of these thoughts." So I proceeded to spend the rest of that time giving some of my clenched fists and heavy heart and dried up tears to God. Worries about people who mean so much and hurt so much and are in control of none of it. Worries about life and the people who were so hungry and wanting food or money that were all around us. And then, I felt free. Free because God is God and I am not! Free because I will hold the people I love with open hands. Free because I am not in charge. Free because HE will provide GLORIOUS riches. Free because I remember that I am one person who loves a lot only because I've been loved so much. Free because I serve a god who takes away, but who also gives. Who gives freely and abundantly. Who gives us a reason to rejoice about even the teensiest thing! It's the only way I know how to find water in the desert.

random and giddy.

Whitworth is a generally friendly place.  Our sidewalk is named the "hello walk" for goodness sake (we also have the "hell no!" walk that's across the lawn, for those days when you just don't feel the cutest.).  When it's warm people swarm the loop and longboard down the hello walk, waving their arms and jumping around like crazy just to say hey to an acquaintance.  Oh, how friendly the warmth is.

Whitworth is also a generally snowy place.  Those same friendly people in the summer that skip down the hello walk and wave their arms like crazy now leave their hands in pockets and wiggle an elbow in acknowledgement.  It's not rude; it's survival.  But oh, how friendly survival is. 

Whitworth is also a generally well-paved place.  There are sidewalks to get anywhere--everywhere.  and it's great.  I don't even mind generally snowy Whitworth anymore, because I know that with the early morning snow comes a mid-morning snow plow, coming to clear the sidewalks and parking lots.  And oh, how friendly clearing the sidewalk is.

Yesterday I saw all three of these things come together in one glorious moment. I began the walk back to my apartment after working out at the gym.  It was one of those workouts where you leave taking slow, wide steps with your shoulders back and a smirk on your face.  For I had squatted 95 pounds.  Yes, folks, I squatted the entire bar, plus 25 pounds.  But that's besides the point.  So I left the gym feeling confident, bold and fierce.  And because I felt that way, I did not want to walk on a paved, plowed path.  I was not interested in the work other people had done.  It was one of those I-want-to-pave-my-own-stinking-way moments.  So, I started through the loop, covered in a foot of snow.  No bother, I was paving my way. 

I was walking parallel to the hello walk, watching the subtle elbow-waving interactions, content with where I am, What I'm seeing and how I'm walking.  Then, in the distance I see a single person veer from the hello walk into the snow.  RIGHT IN MY PATH.  I was very territorial.  But the person got closer, and the huge grin on her face was contagious.  We smiled smug, mischievous smiles at each other, both celebrating the fact that we walked through the foot-deep snow, and feeling silly.  We got closer and she stopped and said, "hi.  pretty outside, huh?"  I responded, "for sure.  it's awesome!"  We both shrugged and walked on.  It wasn't the craziest interaction I've ever had, but I couldn't help but giggle at how silly it was that we walked through a foot of snow, just so we didn't have to walk on the path and contributed more than an elbow wiggle.  I turned to my right and saw a path of compact snow, about a foot and a half wide; others walked through the snow too!  I wonder how many other random and awesome interactions had happened in the middle of the loop that day.

The rest of the walk to the sidewalk was easier and shorter and I was thankful that other people had paved a path for me to follow.

life friends--part Anna

I have a few life friends. There isn't a certain reason why I call them that, except for the fact that we have lived a ton of life together.  Okay, so there is a reason.

This is Anna:

There is no reason Anna and I should be friends.  In first grade, I went over with Anna to her grandmom's house every sunday for lunch.  We would hide from the adults, run with the dog and play so many different card games.  Then, like silly little girls, we fought and I didn't go to grandmom's anymore.  Then, by some strange twist of fate, we were grouped up to be in a "d-group", accountability group with one other girl and a mentor.  I was determined not to like Anna or be friends with her.

And then, by some strange twist of fate, she taught me what friendship means.  Anna and I ran in very different crowds in middle and high school. Anna is super athletic, gorgeous, practical, blonde who ran the school with her also blonde, best friend.  She lived half an hour away, so we only saw each other at church and the occasional lunch at Olive Garden.  Anna's also a straight shooter.  You never have to worry about what she's thinking.  At first I was worried. But I learned that friendship means telling the truth!  We balance each other well.  We also peed on the side of a road in Dar, but also at a random gas station, just for the nostalgia of peeing on the side of a road in Dar!

Anna and I met with our group once a month, and sometimes more often, until we graduated high school.  However, we really became friends in a little bungalow on Kipipeo beach in Tanzania.  Anna taught me what it meant to have a relationship led by the Lord.  She taught me how cool it is to be able to call on a moment's notice, ask for some prayer, advice or money, and know that it will be legit.
It is really fun to have a friend who has a heart for missions! Her eyes are always outward, ready to help and show crazy love to others.  She doesn't flaunt it.  But if Anna is anything, it is loyal.  She has showed me what standing up for others means!

There aren't many life experiences we haven't lived through together, and what a joy, as well as incredible ride it has been! Okay, well maybe there is a reason.